Tuesday, June 30, 2009

MY CANADA ... MY DAY !


I know many people from around the globe think what is it like to be Canadian... well I'm here to share with you a bit of what its like to be a Canuck. Most people generally think of us as the laid back American cousin... which is sad, cuz we are nothing like American's ... well besides having to share the same continent. Its not our fault the war of 1812 didn't pan out for em... baaahhhhhhh sucker's .. teach you to shoot in the dark.... although this must be where they came up with every man may bare arms.... or whatever... more like everyone allowed to shoot first....run next ...and hide in Canada third.... gesh we are nice people!

So to be Canadian for me is about living in a vast country that has many different landscapes...but in winter all resembles the same shit... one big snow bank! (well besides the southern coast of Bc.. unless you count the last winter! WTF?) So with that big of land it brings on challenges.. like regionalization.. what is best for each part of Canada... isn't best for other parts... so how do we fix this in Canada you may ask... well a good ole fashion curling match.. yup I said it.. curling. We throw stones on ice and see who can knock the other opponent out! Its not a complete fix to our problems as we tend to often take the yelling and heckling out to the parking lotwhere, after a few cold 5 % beer's, we lace up our skates and grab sticks to finish the deal. Its our own little Canadian way of being active in a climate that tends to freeze over for many months of the year. After all most area's only get 2 months of good weather and this is just enough to let the bruises heal before the next match... or shall I say debate on what is good for Canada.

Canadian or Canadien's (depending on where you live), have 2 official languages to choose from... but don't tell pockets of Canadians who speak Hindu, Chinese, Africans, Dutch, Czech, Hebrew, Spanish, Italian, Greek or even REAL French! Yup to keep our country united we adopted the 2nd language to which only 23% of us speak.. or care to speak... I guess to be Canadian this means a passing grade is only 23% .. then we make it law. Now don't get me wrong, I think its wonderful we have more then English, I mean just last week I was in Chinatown and every sign was not in either French or English... it was all these characters, not even letters... how does that work? It doesn't matter.... to be Canadian we don't worry about who speaks what, or what language gets used for signs... what we care about is ..... people live in their pockets of their own communities.... why else would we have little Italy, India, Greektown, French quarter, eastside! If they like to live by each other... all the better... we can quickly go in, throw our money at them.... buy their wares and leave... that is Canadian.. peaceful bargain shoppers! Don't split up Canada as a country... when we've split up cities to reflect the different nationalities and feel good about it!

We are a bunch of fun loving, warm people... we have to be.. we don't want to start a war in this country and have to brave some of the brutal winter storms and fight... I mean our armies would be in green camouflage in the summer and white in the winter. We would be building trenches of snow ... and could you image a stand off in the prairies.... it would be one side on the border of Manitoba .... the other on the boarder of Alberta... all with a great view of what each other is doing! Its like the saying goes... you can watch your dog run away for days! Its not like the flatlands of Canada are anything to write home about... well other then the oil sands we have in Alberta... now there is our national treasure of late. What a great way to create an environmental disaster and have the entire world focus on us. Its not like Canada to wave a flag and promote ourselves... but if by chance we get a spot on the global platform... we really go for it. What people don't understand is most of the CEO's of these oil companies are actually American's ... cuz there is no way a true Canadian would exploit our country for the sake of the world..... its just not us... just look at how we handled soft wood trade with the USA... we certainly didn't make a big stink about it when they slapped tariffs on our wood and killed that industry... again we are fun loving warm people... you have to be to live next to the states!

I don't want you to get the wrong idea about Canada, and what it means to be Canadian... we are a good bunch of people. You know the kind that will be there when called upon... Afghanistan for instant! We take our peace making troops to an area that is so full of turmoil and begin to fight on the front lines... now remember we only have 3 battle ships ... a couple of really old helicopters and water guns that spring leaks for arms. Why wouldn't we want to go to a hot spot of the world to help out our neighbours... BECAUSE WE ARE CANADIAN! We will help out anyone if they need us... minus Iraq.... just due to the huge number of bodies we would need to place there... after all its not like any kid in Canada grows up thinking they need to enlist... so our defenses are a bit low. But honestly why would they need a big number.... seriously... its not like we fight wars all the time.... take the Arctic for example... we claimed it years ago when it was still full of ice and things... but now that global warming has caught on ...in a big way.. other countries feel they can put their flag on this land and call it their own. What do Canadians do ... take our ice breaking ship up there to pull out the flag and then call a news conference about how, such and such a country has no right to claim the arctic! Honestly... HONESTLY ... if any country REALLY wanted it... we can't stop them... our troops are off fighting someone else's war!

With that being said... to be really Canadian is to have the worlds interest at heart... to be there like an old friend for someone in need. We are the ole faithful of the world.... you don't hear too much from us, and we don't expect too much from others. We don't wave flags outside our homes, we don't go around with maple leafs tagged to our cars, houses, bikes, boats, or even beings.... but we do care for the world and its people. Its no wonder American's when traveling will show their maple leaf on their bags to say to the world... 'DON'T SHOT ME I'M CANADIAN'.. that my friends is the biggest compliment you can give a Canadian ... RESPECT !

Happy Canada Day CANADA.....you ole wet blanket you !

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