Mommy Groups vs Cult

I have a friend who just had a baby.... and I must admit the cutest baby I have ever seen... well except for my own baby shots... I think my mother took 1 of me when I was a baby... the pit falls of being the youngest and born into a poor camera family. I know that if they had a camera, there would have been more. Although if you talk to my Mom, she says there are lots... I have yet to see all these photos.... and I'm 24 now.... so highly doubt there are.. but anyway, back to my original topic.

I understand the importance of Mommy groups.. for young mothers to meet other mothers who just pushed out a baby thru a very small, but in some cases large opening! Not pointing figures at who is who with this one... anyway... they get together to talk about how their babies are doing, what is happening, how you do this, that and the other thing. They meet up to have coffee, play in the park, walks or even swimming lesson ( to where the baby doesn't even get a badge)! So with all that they have this group they call the Mommy's group.... to which I will refer to it as ... THE CULT !

In my eyes, this is one step away from a horrible cool-aid incident... you know the one where everyone drank their refreshing drink laced with poison? I'm sure it started off with small meet ups in public places... you know a place where they could talk about.... oh I don't know... cult stuff. A regular meeting that grew and took on more of a lifestyle then a social gathering... kinda like those Mommy groups.
You can't tell me Mommy groups are friendly, cuz I've heard some horror stories of some of these groups.... you show up and get snubbed by other Mommy's who only drink ice latte's... or Mommy's who only breast feed.. or Mommy's who do regular work outs to get back to their pre Mommy days....

I guess what I want to know is this... how many ways could their be to change a diaper, or even how often.. if its full ....change it. I'm not expert on diapers but from what I understand they all do up the same way .. no? How many different ways is there to feed a child who is hungry... isn't it the child who determines when they are hungry... hence the no sleep you get from all those middle of the night wake ups? Do you talk about how far you tip the bottle into the mouth? How often you burp them, or how you burp them? What are all the different types of rashes on their bottoms? How many different types of rashes could there be... you see bumps and redness you know you got a rash on your hands... put cream on it ! When should your baby be holding their head up, crawling, walking, teething.. the list goes on. Since when did a baby come with a manual ... as far as I know, each baby is unique in that way.. .No?

So, what I'm saying is this... what really do Mommy's talk about in their group? It can't be all about baby stuff... perhaps they talk about husbands.... how they do nothing, don't really help out.. don't hold the baby the right way.. .can't stand changing their diaper...doesn't look at me the same way as before.... could these be some of the topics you think? If this is.. then its a cult... a cult of mothers who think they are the only people on this earth who can care properly for their child... and then try to out do, and out know the other mommy's. This can't be a healthy environment... to be constantly competing with other Mommy's. This is where the cult begins... First it will be morning meet ups.. then pool meet ups.. then weekend meet ups.... with cake and things. They will then look at other people who have kids and try to tell them the best way to care for their child.. what worked for theirs MUST work for everyone else's. They begin to preach about what to eat, what to take, what not to eat, what not to take .. as it might harm their child. I swear .. my mother smoked and ate what she wanted with me.... and nothing really happened... unless you count that .. well ... this isn't about me is it.

So, I'm thinking about joining some of these groups to see what exactly is being talked about. What is the fun of getting together with other hormonal mom's who just gave birth and think they have the best child, the best way and the best future for their baby? I see this as a competition, and anyone who knows me .... knows I am very competitive... So if anyone has a baby they would like to give up for a few hours a day... I prefer a newly changed, well feed, only sleeps type of baby. I have no problem stating in private that I will puke at the sight of poo... will not handle any type of puke and don't like a high pitched noise whaling out of anyone. Plus if I'm about to give some advice on what other mother's should do.. I better have a damn good child in tow. Oh yeah they have to be cute... let's be honest .. if I'm going to pass off a kid as my own... they HAVE to be cute.... I've seen some pretty horrible looking babies in those Mommy's groups... ears out to there... eyes all wonky... alien shaped heads.

I'm curious by nature and if I can save 1 mom from the torment of Mommy groups, well I've done my job. I must find out what is being talked about.... the snickers, the gossiping... the back stabbing... I want apart of it all. I want to eventually open these groups up to anyone... you know, if you like baby's... want to be a baby... want to be a mommy.. attracted to mommy's.... everyone should be allowed to join and give their 2 cents on any topic... we live in a free society where we place an importance on freedom of speech.. and freedom of choice... so let me choose whether I want to join a Mommy's group ... I like cake just like the next person !