Man in the Mirror

What I'm about to 'rant' about may offend some, or make you stop and think there is a bit of logic to what I'm saying. Yes I'm about to talk about the entire MJ fiasco and the results of behavior surrounding his untimely death. We all know where we were when we got wind of the whispers that Michael Jackson was dead... I'm sure we all felt the same feeling of disbielf... not that he was dead, but due to the shock that someone who was so iconic was dead.

What get's my goat is the endless turnout from people who knew MJ, or people in the entertainment business making statements about MJ and how he was a trail blazer, a hero, an industry first. How much he effected their lives and their path in the business. I have never heard so much positive reactions of Michael since I was a kid and the 'Thriller' album hit the stores. I remember myself as a kid being fascinated by Michael and wanted anything to do with his likeness. I even got my grandmother to knit me that famous white glove, so I too could feel what it must have been like to be Michael Jackson. I would even sit in my room looking at pictures of him and wondering... wow.. what is he doing right now.... was he sleeping when I slept, was he listening to music, was he laughing... was he playing!? Yes there were all thoughts I had as a child when it came to Michael Jackson.. and I'm sure I wasn't alone.

But as time went on, he became really distant from that 'image' I had of him, and I would think everyone else who knew him. I never once thought that Michael was loosing it... I kinda felt sorry for him, as I would also think about how difficult it would be to just live your life if you were Michael Jackson. Can you imagine not being able to go for a walk to clear your head, not be able to do basic chores we all do.. like go shopping, buying groceries, paying bills, going on trips, inviting friends over for dinner, being alone with one's thoughts? I use to think of this and feel sorry for him.. not to be able to go outside without making it a big ordeal... can you imagine just wanting to leave your house and then having to plan the whole event, and have protection in doing so? Of course you would have a very unclear vision on what we perceive a normal life... I can't fathom going for a coffee and having to clear it with my body guards, manager or anyone else... talk about a prisoner of life. I guess this is one of the pitfalls of becoming too famous...

So, when you think if MJ was crazy.... well wouldn't you be? Could you imagine during your most deepest darkest moments in life if everyone around you distanced themselves from you? I believe this is what happened to MJ as time went on.... everyone wanted to disassociate with MJ in fear of being guilty by association. We can relate to this, by making a decision in our life NOT to hang out with someone, or befriend someone who may get you down the wrong path... but can you imagine turning your back on a friend, or having your friend turn their back on you? Its hard to even think of someone in our life not being there for us when we need it... but this is exactly what happened to MJ. During the first ordeal in the early 90's when the all know what he was accused of... people began to really distance themselves from MJ.... you didn't hear a peep from people in the industry coming to his defense.... you didn't hear people standing up...but what you did see and hear was NOTHING. Can you even begin to imagine if this was you... .taking on a crisis in your life .. ALONE? Would this not make you a bit crazy?

We all know the outcome of the court actions... that is not what I'm talking about... its the reaction of the people closest to MJ. Did they come out then and cheer for him? Perhaps in private, but not publically. I don't ever recall hearing P Diddy, Usher or even Jamie Fox come out and say... he is innocent, let's celebrate Michael. There was no rally put on by these people... even though MJ was the first to bring on countless charity concerts to help those in need. I guess if this was me... and my friends weren't there to support me during a very difficult time... just turned their backs on me... but in death all came out and said wonderful things about me, and how I was this legend.. I would be PISSED and haunt the shit out of their lives for as long as I could. I think you all would too.. think about it... being alone... to deal with trauma in your life with every friend close to you... not there. I can't imagine.

I don't want people to not talk about MJ, or say he wasn't a trail blazer, a legend or anything else. Michael was to each of us the Michael we all want to remember. Whether it be from the Jackson 5 era, Thriller, Black or White, or plastic surgery, or the court cases. ..... this was his entire life. Its good to celebrates someone's life when they die... the good .. the bad.. and the ugly. After all this is what makes a person's life. But to get up.... be in the public eye stating he was the best thing since slice bread really gets me going. What is their motive? I guess its ' IN ' to be on MJ's side now that he is dead. Yes he was a very talented artist, he did shape the African American music industry, he did break boundaries, he did create his own identity, he did enjoy being around children, he did many things... talk about it.. all of it ! Its making me sick to see all those in the business coming out to talk about how lovely, incredible, amazing he was... where the hell were they when he needed them? I guess to busy worrying about their own identity and lifestyle.

I've never been famous, so I don't know what its like to live your life by how others perceive you. I do know however, that me, as a person is exactly the same as anyone else... same emotions, same bodily functions, same questions of why, and same searching for the answer's to my why's. I, like most people, have been instilled with morals and values and use these qualities for being a better person. I never want to turn my back on a friend in need... I never want to put my own agenda before a friend in need.. and I never want to become a hypocrite when it comes to a friend. I can't imagine stepping back in someone' s life... to then step forward in their death. To be front and centre speaking nothing but 'greatness' about them.... after I hadn't been there .... my morals couldn't let me .... there is no way I would want to ever come across as fake.. and for people who know me... know I'm anything but fake.

I say this for those reading this 'rant' about MJ.. its not all about MJ... its about our own personal values that shape us as individuals. If you can't be there for someone in life... thick or thin... then don't step up in death... its too late for the person who needed to hear it the most.... the dead. Its a sad world, we have created when society believes everything is black or white... step back and look at the man in the mirror... its gonna be startin something... cuz you never can say goodbye.... if you aren't present in life!

ps. I know its paying respect of the dead.. but let's try respecting during life !